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God Chooses Mom for Disabled Child
Thanks, Diane, for passing this beautiful tribute along – I’m only sorry it took me so long to share it with all of the mothers out there!
God Chooses Mom for Disabled Child Written by Erma BombeckPublished in Today Newspaper Sept. 4th, 1993 Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.
Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
“Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew”
“Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.”
“Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint…. give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.” Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.”
The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.””Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But has she patience?” asks the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.” “I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She’ll have to teach the child to live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.” “But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”
God smiles. “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.” The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.” “I will permit her to see clearly the things I see—ignorance, cruelty, prejudice— and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”
“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in midair. God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
Tribute to Me (and you!) for Mother’s Day
Many posts I express self doubt, regret, uncertainty, exasperation or disappointment about a recent parenting decision or experience. These feelings are natural, and I personally believe it can be therapeutic to voice them in a supportive forum such as this (rather than taking it out on the kids!).
But this will not be the case today, my friends. Today I will go for the supernatural in honor of all of the mothers out there who are as awesome as I am. Today I will list all of the ways in which I am overqualified for any other position than that of Really Superbly Amazing Mother.
In other job fields, employees are recognized and receive appreciation in many ways – from their bosses or coworkers, through raises and bonuses, through Employee of the Month programs, or by having their work displayed. While out with the children I am often asked “Do you work?” “No,” I reply. “I get to stay home with my children.”
Hahahahahahahahaha. After I am done wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, I want to defend my decision while also saying “Yes, I work – FULL time.'” But, I know that this kind of question is usually not meant in a snide or condescending way. In fact, most days I am able to reflect on how lucky I am to be able to stay home with the kids, and I do think that working outside the home right now would be unbelievably difficult (props to the moms who pull it off daily!).
It’s probably better that I don’t have a job outside of the home anyway – I mean, for one thing, who could afford me? My experience and unique skills alone overqualify me for many positions. I mean, in my “past life” I was a music teacher – at the college level, elementary/ middle school level, as a church director and privately. Add that to my current skill sets as mother, wife, maid, chef, secretary, nurse, teacher, disciplinarian, accountant, chauffeur, personal trainer, event planner, playmate, therapist and let’s not forget pooper scooper (since I devoted a whole post to it) and my resume is downright formidable. Secondly, what would my family do without me if I got a “real job?” Who would pack lunches, play games, write notes to teachers, help with homework, call doctors, make paper bag puppets, or bake cookies, often more than one activity at a time? Even if you could find a very talented person to take over the basics, who would know when a fake yawn meant that James was upset about something, or which bribe to offer my toddler so she would wear her eye patch, or what kind of cry meant the baby was hungry versus being tired or frustrated? Who would know how to avoid possible freak outs over “leaving James in the taxi,” my toddler pouring her own cereal or my 7 month old needing to sit by the Legos to watch?
I can have a lengthy conversation with a loan officer while coloring Elmo and nursing a baby. I turn folding and putting away laundry into a racing game between James and my 2 year old daughter. I can cook a quality dinner with my baby strapped on in the Bjorn and my toddler daughter “helping” me, while calling out homework questions to James in the dining room. I often strap both babies into the Bjorn and Ergo and carry them both so that I only have to bring one umbrella outside on a rainy day. I still bake cookies with the kids as an after school treat. I can take my children into a toy store and leave without buying anything and without anyone crying about it. I make my kids think that buying Life cereal is a special treat, and that sushi is better than McDonalds. I can sleep for less than 5 hours a night for an entire week and still stay up long enough to spend time alone with my husband at least once over the weekend. I know what face means that James is about to have an accident and my toddler is about to climb something unconventional. I don’t lose my patience for the first five times repeating “get your shoes on” to James while my toddler is streaking in the hallway and my 7 month old is screaming. I can type an email with one finger while standing next to the computer rocking a crying baby and talking Margaret down from the windowsill. I read a bedtime story to the kids every night, sometimes individually when I have those extra minutes. I still feel lucky to be a SAHM and still think my kids are the greatest, even at the end of a dozen time outs, tantrums, and accidents in one day.
So to all the mothers out there who are insanely overqualified, working or at home, special needs children or not, I can’t offer you that raise or plaque or special ceremony, but I can offer you my sincere appreciation and recognition for all that you do.
Happy Mother’s Day to you! And me!
The Foorce 
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