Archive

Posts Tagged ‘things kids say’

What Do You Call It When…

Marwari_horse_show_jumping_Jodhpur_polo_ground“…you ride a horse with no legs?”

I looked at Adam, totally caught off guard as I cleaned up from dinner. “What?” Read more…

Monday Minute/ Top Ten: Special Combo Edition

October 8, 2012 1 comment

This special combo edition of the Monday Minute/ “Top Ten” is brought to you for the first time ever courtesy of baby #4’s impending birth. We’ll likely be welcoming the not-so-little guy (nearly 10 lb already) sometime in the next 48 hours so I thought one last post before that point would be a good idea. And James must have known it because he unleashed a whole boatload of material for me to use today.

So without further adieu I present  Top Ten Monday Minutes – In One Day. It’s not exactly ten but that’s because it’s oh-so-real. I’ve said it before, but seriously, who could make this stuff up?

—————————————————————-

1. (M is standing up eating muffin on plate)

Me: What are you doing?

M: Standing like mom to eat food. James, stand up like mom to eat your breakfast!

James: No, I’ll eat like Dad. Mom, can you get me a fork and knife?

Me: James, you’re eating oatmeal.

James: Yeah, but I’m sitting.

——————————-

2. (On subway)

James (loudly): So can I do something to earn my ipod today?

Me: I don’t know, like what?

James: Chores?

Me: We’ll see.

James (to woman beside him): Like vacuuming, throwing my clothes in the laundry, polishing our silverware.

Me: When have you ever polished silverware?

James: I could.

———————————

3. (On return subway ride)

James: So remember when my Uncle K showed me those inappropriate things on my ipod?

Me (glancing around at the other riders nervously): Like what?

James: You know, that site dad said was inappropriate?

Me: Shhhh…. the cartoons?

James: They were really inappropriate for kids. 

Me: Can we talk about this another time?

(Disclaimer: I think they were decided to be inappropriate for having words like “shut up” in them)

———————————-

4. (still on the subway…..)

James: So when things go wrong that’s violence, right?

Me: What?

James: Like if something goes wrong at school?

Me: Violence? Violent how?

James: Like bullying?

Me: Bullying is bad but not always violent.

James: Or when something is hard.

Me: No, again that is not violent.

James (loudly): Oh, I know – explosives are violent! Like if something blows up it is violent. But not bullies – they’re just bad.

Me (trying to avoid eye contact with everyone on the train): So what did you like at the zoo today, bud?

—————————————

5. (watching planes overhead on walk home)

James: Hey, remember when we flew to that other country this summer? It was so far away and we flew on one of those planes like that to a special country to visit our new family?

Me: You mean Buffalo?

James: Yeah.

—————————————-

6. (at the table)

James: You know what I like about this soup? It’s made from preciously good tomatoes.

—————————————-

7. (still at the table)

James: Let me wipe this tomato from my mouth so I can talk to you about something important (wipes mouth). Let’s talk about fire safety.

—————————————-

8. (being tucked in)

Me: So tomorrow Dad is going to get you up and onto the bus because I have to go to the doctor extra early.

James: Does Dad know?

Me: Yes, he is very excited to stay home from work and spend time with you guys.

James: No, does he know that the baby is going to pop out at the doctor?

Me: I hope not. But yes, Dad knows the baby is coming very soon.

James: Does he know the baby is going to cry and poop a lot?

Me: I’m not sure about that one.

—————————————–

9. (James farts loudly as I sit on his bed to read)

James: Excuse me.

Me: Gross, James. Come on.

James: It’s okay because I said excuse me.

Me: It’s still kind of gross.

James: A little gas is good if you use your manners.

—————————————–

And on that note, I’ll see you all on the other side 🙂

Monday Minute: Where Do Trains Go When They Get Old?

I witnessed this sweet, yet odd (as if it would be anything else), conversation between James and Margaret on the LIRR today.

————————————————————–

James is in italics, Margaret is in bold.

Look, James, there’s a ton of trains out there!

Wow, cool!

Why are they all out there like that?

That’s a train yard.

 A train yard?

Yeah, it’s kind of like a nursing home for trains.

Oh.

When trains stop working or when they get old they go to train yards.

Those trains are taking a nap.

Yeah, old trains need to take a nap so they can get back on the job.

Have a good nap, trains!

Bye train yard!