James: What’s in the bag?
Me: Ant traps.
James: What else?
Me: Ant spray.
James: What is ant spray?
Me: It kills ants.
James: Is it called Raid? Read more…
Waking James up in the morning is always a special joy in my life, but Mondays are often the hardest. Still suffering from the loss of a precious hour over the weekend I approached his room this morning with no small amount of dread. And a plan. Little did I know that James had been secretly forming a counterattack. Read more…
Apparently I need to brush up on family relations…
(James is sitting in the kitchen while I make him breakfast, Ian in his bouncy chair nearby)
James: Hi, Ian. Hi, little Ian! So, is Ian my cousin?
James: Ian’s my cousin?
Me: Are you serious? Read more…
After another oh-so-fun wake up of James this morning that included being kicked at (he said he was just trying to kick the covers), being called a bully, and James smacking himself dramatically in the forehead while loudly groaning “I’m too tired ” for 25 minutes, I was pretty done with him and he knew it. And, as usual, by the time he came downstairs for breakfast, he was dressed, smiling and ready to (intensely) pretend the last half hour didn’t happen. Having been up since 4am with my 3-month old, I wasn’t in the mood to let him off so easily. But you have to give the kid an A for effort… Read more…
In the morning:
James: (to himself upon coming downstairs and seeing the tree) Whoaaaaa…. I knew it! I knew he would come if I just stayed in my room. (to me) So who do you think Santa is the most proud of for sleeping good?
James: Who is that really big box for?
James: I really loved Christmas today.
Me: Me too. What was your favorite part?
James: Those presents.
Me: What was your favorite present?
James: The ones I opened.
Me: It’s not just about presents, though.
James: Do you think Jesus loved his presents too?
After losing ipod James tried to sweet talk me back into letting him play with it. I think he thought he was being subtle…
James is in italics, I’m in bold.
(In the shower)
Rinse off and get out please.
I can make you happier than you’ve ever been.
When I get clean in the shower without whining, right?
Really happy, right?
(Changed into my PJs – a bleach-stained tank top and sweats)
Wow, that shirt looks really nice on you, mom.
It looks great, right?
I said thank you James.
So, what can I do?
Want to help me get dinner ready?
Aren’t you happy?
Sure I am.
Am I happier than you? (trick question for a kid trying to prove how amazingly happy he is now)
You’re the happiest woman alive. I’m the happiest boy.
You lost your ipod, James. Right?
What?! Aren’t you proud of me?
I‘m proud of your behavior for the last 30 minutes.
(grumbling to self) I made you happy. I want that ipod now.
You look nice.
This morning James was a little off after a restless night. I’m thinking “handfuls of protein” is way more catchy than binders of women, right?
James is in italics, I’m in bold.
(the third time) James, hurry up, we have to brush teeth before the bus gets here.
(ambling over to the stairs) So mom, that cereal has a lot of protein.
But not sodium (sounds disappointed).
Well, sodium is salt – you don’t want alot of sodium because it’s not healthy.
Yeah, only on pretzels? It’s healthy in chips too.
Nope, still not healthy. Please, please go into the bathroom.
Bleh. Sodium is gross, right mom?
But at least I had 3 handfuls of protein today.
Yeah, I ate some with my hands. And one hundred spoonfuls of it (trips over the baby bouncer and falls to the ground)
Good grief, whats going on with you this morning, James?
I think I must need more protein.