The Foorce

I know, I know, it’s no longer Monday, but I didn’t get home from my epic subway journey after tennis until bedtime, let alone the dinner I was now supposed to throw together. Needless to say, the kids and I raced each other to bed last night and they only won by a hair. But my nearly 4 hours on the subway yesterday provided me with more than a sore back and headache – by now you can only imagine how much material James provided for the Monday Minute in that length of time. This conversation was by far a crowd favorite, though.

James is in italics, my responses are in bold.

This particular moment started with a woman coming into our subway car to announce that she was homeless, hungry and needed money, however little we could spare. She projected very well so it was impossible for my children not to notice her. As she passed subway passengers one by one, pleading loudly, James asked (also loudly):

Do you have any money to give that lady? (as if it wasn’t awkward enough)

Not this time James – I don’t have any cash on me.

Oh right, not even for the vending machine after tennis today.

Nope, not even spare change today bud. Sorry.

Why don’t you have any cash?

Because I forgot to get some from Dad’s wallet this morning. All I have are my cards.

Why is all the cash in Dad’s wallet?

Because he gets it from work.

Does Dad take care of all the money? (the man next to James smirks)

Well, Dad makes all of the money but I help take care of it by paying the bills and saving it.

But Dad makes all of the money?

Yes.

And he keeps it all in his wallet?

And the bank.

But you don’t have to work like Dad so you don’t have any money? (man next to James snickers out loud)

No James, we share the money. I work in a different way taking care of all you kids.

I can’t believe he has all the money in his wallet and you have no money! We couldn’t even go to the vending machine today. (I am now feeling laughed at on all sides of the subway car, though James is dead serious.)

I’ll be sure not to forget next time. (very, very sure)

Maybe he will share some of it tomorrow.

James, he will share money with me anytime, I just forgot this morning.

Do you think maybe you should work so you can get some of your own money?

I think maybe I will just continue to live this life of luxury and take some more out of Dad’s wallet tomorrow morning.

Good idea! And Dad can take some more from work.

Something like that, James.

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Interestingly enough, the homeless woman did not pause to ask me for change.