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Breaking News: Missing NYC Woman Rumored To Be Seen Crying In A Walmart Parking Lot. In a minivan.

November 7, 2014 5 comments

Walmart_Supercenter,_Ft._Worth,_TXHOUSTON. Reports have surfaced that Michaela Searfoorce was recently spotted in Friendswood, TX, four months after she went missing from New York. Searfoorce, an active wife, mother and writer, has not been seen or heard from since her sudden announcement that she was relocating to the Lone Star State, a move some declared a “publicity stunt” for her popular blog, The Foorce. However, as time passed with no word, concern grew that perhaps foul play had come into the mix.

Relief and confusion were the most commonly expressed emotions upon hearing that Searfoorce had been spotted near a gray Honda Odyssey in a Walmart parking lot, a popular hangout in the Houston area. “Michaela doesn’t do stores – she orders everything online,” a close friend commented. “A minivan? Whaaaa-? You must be mistaken,” another sputtered into her Starbucks pumpkin spiced latte.

Contradicting reports have recently come out that the woman was not in fact crying, but sweating, as she loaded groceries into said minivan while wearing an adorable, redheaded newborn, a grimace, and a slight paunch. Of course, this was in 90 degree heat with 100% humidity so either sweating or crying would have been appropriate, making it hard to tell definitively. But those close to Searfoorce remain steadfast in their opinion that “She would definitely be crying if she were driving a minivan or grocery shopping in a store with all of those kids,” and, “It’s ludicrous that you think Michaela’s actually in Texas!”

In other news, Searfoorce is rumored to be working on a new blog, slated to come out this Fall. Stay tuned for more info.

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