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Monday Minute: Trick or Treat, Part 1

Capri_Pants_front_viewJames loves to trick or treat – but despite the garlic breath, he might not be ready for Halloween at all. Every year as the big day gets closer, James gets a little touchy about putting his costume on, even though he’s the one who adamantly picked it out months prior.

For some reason, James has been giving me an especially hard time this year, which is particularly unfortunate since he’s put on about 20 pounds this fall due to a change in medication (totally another story for another time). The whole saga reached a climax with us finally showing up to the trick-or-treating event at Ryan’s work still not having tried the freaking costume on. How did I let it get that far? The following conversation took place the night before. Read more…

Monday Minute: Dinner Conversation

Giving_ThanksYou know how parents complain that they ask “what did you do today?” and the kids say “I don’t know” or “nothing.” Even if we actually didn’t do anything, I’m never going to hear those words. (Sometimes I think “nothing” could even be nice.)

Me: So guys, why don’t we each say our favorite thing we did this week. Mine was making clay habitats with you yesterday. what was yours? Read more…

Monday Minute: Be prepared for a scare this Halloween…

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Today is Ian’s first birthday, but since Ryan is rarely home before bedtime on weeknights we already celebrated over the weekend. Despite this I wanted to do something special this evening, not because Ian would actually notice but because the other kids would, and because I’m a glutton for punishment.

Meanwhile, James was recently taken off of one of his more potent medications and has since been coming home from school ravenous, so I’ve been stocking the kitchen with quick and easy things he can make himself. Somehow, microwave popcorn turned into a gourmet event – James goes through the spice cabinet and sprinkles this and that into the bag until he’s satisfied, then shakes it up and devours the entire thing.

To make the following conversation intelligible, I omitted two poopy diaper changes, Adam gagging on a chicken skin and throwing up, Ian screeching “cup” at me every 15 seconds and Margaret dropping her plate of dumplings on the floor. Oh, and James’s mouth never had less than an entire dumpling in it. Ever. It was a birthday celebration for the record books, to be sure. Read more…

Monday Minute: Margaret, the show girl of the USNA

Showgirl_dancer.jpegThanks for this, James.

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Me: Hey, bud. How was school?

James: Great! No homework.

Me: Can I see your folder? I see a study sheet in here on the city, state and country where we live (seriously? this is what they’re testing him on?). Are you ready for the big test?

James: Yeah.

Me: Fine – what city do you live in?

James: New York.

Me: Right, but what part?

James: Colonial Road. (Okay, perhaps some review is a good idea)  Read more…

Monday Minute: James meets his match in an awkward conversation showdown

September 25, 2013 1 comment

Teppanyaki_chef_cooking_at_a_hibachi_in_a_Japanese_Steakhouse (1)In hibachi land, if you’re sitting near a weirdo you’re stuck for a while.

Apparently I’m holding James back from realizing his true passions. For the sake of this post I will refer to the woman that sat our hibachi table as Surely, short for Surely-you-can’t-be-serious-right-now.”

I rate the following conversation right up there with the whole “rat on your back” subway debacle. I think I sincerely laughed just as hard on the way home. And lady, coming from a parent who has heard everything, that’s saying something.

Read more…

Monday Minute: The Full Sushi Experience, Photo Edition

September 17, 2013 1 comment
Sushi roll cake, as requested.

Sushi roll cake, as requested.

Though yesterday was James’s birthday, I was just too busy partying to spend it blogging. We had a jam-packed birthday weekend that kicked off with nothing less than the full sushi experience. 

Or so I thought.

Can you spot the missing item? Read more…

Monday Minute: Why would anyone give this gift to a 13 year old?

IMG_0433 (1)James is turning 13 on September 16th (what????) and the gifts have started to arrive. Upon coming home from school James opened a box and read the card (as we have trained him to do) on top first. “Oooohh, I think it’s chopsticks!” he exclaimed, rummaging around inside. A moment later he resurfaced looking confused. “These are not the chopsticks I asked for,” he muttered. I glanced over – James was holding up a stack of neatly folded white washcloths, tied with a bow. He looked into the box again. “What the—?”

Now I was curious, so I got up and peeked. “Espresso cups?” I mused. I read the card, which mentioned that the gift would be good for a sushi-lover like James. “What in the world do you need these for? Someone must have made a mistake, bud,” I announced. “I’ll call your Aunt Nancy and let her know.” Read more…