The Foorce

James loves to trick or treat – but despite the garlic breath, he might not be ready for Halloween at all. Every year as the big day gets closer, James gets a little touchy about putting his costume on, even though he’s the one who adamantly picked it out months prior.

For some reason, James has been giving me an especially hard time this year, which is particularly unfortunate since he’s put on about 20 pounds this fall due to a change in medication (totally another story for another time). The whole saga reached a climax with us finally showing up to the trick-or-treating event at Ryan’s work still not having tried the freaking costume on. How did I let it get that far? The following conversation took place the night before.

Me (clearing the dinner table): So James, why don’t we try on your costume tonight? Dad’s work party is tomorrow.

James: Nah.

Me: You keep saying that but you have to do it before Halloween because what if it doesn’t fit?

James: Mom, no.

Me: Why not?

James: I want to try it on later.

Me: You keep saying that but you said today was the day.

James: No, its not the day yet, tomorrow will be the day.

Me: James, just try it on for one sec. Go on.

James: How dare you!

Me: Are you being serious? Go get it.

James: Mom! Tomorrow! (sits back down at the table to serve himself some more spaghetti)

Me: James, you are done eating. Done. Just go upstairs and try your costume on.

James: Nonono, ok?

Me: Go try it on, go bring the bag down

James: No, it might not be good.

Me: What do you mean? it’ll be great!

James: I’ll wait until the superman costume gets here.

Me: What? No way, wait, you said Mario.

James: Mario is less.

Me: less what?

James: less good

Me: No. You and Adam are being Mario and Luigi.

James (gets up, heads to kitchen) Let’s make a waffle.

Me: James you’re ignoring me.

James: I’m going!

Me: No, about the costume. Listen to me – you said when the costume got here you would both put on Luigi and Mario to try it out. Adam is in Luigi. It’s your turn.

James: All right.

Me: All right!

James: When it gets here another day.

Me: You’re being Mario.

James: Even if it doesn’t fit I’ll be Mario.

Me: James it’s already here.

James: No.

Me: Yes, for two weeks it’s been sitting in your room.

James: Mom.

Me; If it doesn’t fit, how will you wear the costume?

James: I will.

Me: James. GO. NOW. Or it’s bedtime.

James: Okay! Okay!

Me: Thank you! It shouldn’t be this hard.

James: I’ll go to bed.

Me: Oh my God.

James: (starts to walk upstairs, turns) Hey mom.

Me: Yeah?

James: What are you going to be?

Me: A wide awake mom.

James (guffaws loudly): Good one, mom!

Me: Thanks.

James (turns again): When are you going to try on your costume?

———–

Touche, James.

But then again, I wasn’t the one wearing “Mario capris” at Dad’s work today, was I? (stay tuned for pictures.)