The Foorce

Thanks for this, James.

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Me: Hey, bud. How was school?

James: Great! No homework.

Me: Can I see your folder? I see a study sheet in here on the city, state and country where we live (seriously? this is what they’re testing him on?). Are you ready for the big test?

James: Yeah.

Me: Fine – what city do you live in?

James: New York.

Me: Right, but what part?

James: Colonial Road. (Okay, perhaps some review is a good idea) 

Me: No, like what borough?

James: Brooklyn.

Me: Great – and what state?

James: The United States.

Me: What part of the United States?

James: The United States of America.

Me: No, but which state of the United States?

James: North America.

Me: No, James –

James: South America.

Me: James –

James: North and South America.

Me: Hey! Look at me! Say this – Brooklyn, New York, United States.

James: Brooklyn, New York, United States of North America.

Me: Brooklyn.

James: Brooklyn.

Me: New York.

James: New York City.

Me: New York State.

James: North America.

Me: New York State.

James: New York.

Me: State.

James: State.

Me: United States.

James: of North –

Me: U. S. A.

James (chanting): USA, USA, USA.

Margaret (squeezing herself in between the liquor cabinet and wall): Make way for the honorable Margaret!!!

Me: What are you doing in there Margaret?

Margaret: Getting ready.

Me: Are you being a judge?

Margaret: No, I’m a show girl.

Me: You are not. Just be a judge.

James: Let her be a show girl, mom.

Me: I think dad would prefer a Supreme Court justice.

James: I will be the league of justice (what?) and Margaret is the show girl.

Me: This is getting crazy. You can be a judge if you tell me where you live.

James: Okay.

Me: Maybe you can introduce Margaret’s show by saying where she lives.

James: Okay. Pre-sen-tinnnnnggg, Margaret! The show girl of Brooklyn New York!

Me: Oh brother (Margaret comes out wearing a butterfly mask, toddler bikini top and ruffle skirt)

James: From Colonial Road –

Margaret: No! I’m from the princess palace!

James: There are no princesses in New York, you should just be that show girl.

Margaret: Okay, let’s try it again. (squeezes back behind liquor cabinet)

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Seriously, let’s try this again.