The Foorce

Me: So are you excited about our plane trip to Buffalo this week?

James: Yeah! How will we get to the airport?

Me: Well, first we’ll get a taxi there.

James (pumps fist in the air) Ohhh, yeah!

Me: Then we’ll go stand in line for tickets.

James: Yessssssss!

Me: Then we’ll go through security.

James: So they can check out our guns.

Me: We don’t have guns.

James: Or our knives.

Me: Hmmm, not bringing knives. We are bringing an epi pen and liquids though, so we’ll need to allow for extra time.

James: Liquids?

Me: Yeah, Ian’s medicine.

James: Yeah those guys need to make sure we won’t pour liquids on the plane and start a fire, right?

Me: Wow, James, you should probably not talk while we’re in line for security.

James: Yeah, so I don’t get arrested for bombs?

(At this cue, Adam starts singing “Bombs,” a real song he made up that consists of bomby-bomby-bomb, bomby-bomby-bomb, bomby-bomby-bomby-bomby-bomby-bomby-bomb, to the tune of Farmer in the Dell)

Me: Absolutely NO talk of bombs at the airport.

(Adam’s song intensifies)

Me (glaring): OR SONGS. (Adam ignores me. To James): So you and Margaret will sit together and I’ll sit with Adam and Ian. Adam do you want a window seat?

Adam (Stops singing) Yeah!!

James: I’ll take the aisle.

Me: Sounds good, Margaret can have the other window.

Margaret: What?! No! I want the aisle!

Me: Really? Fine, James can have the window, he was just being nice. The windows a good seat.

James: No, I’m scared.

Me: The window is the best part, you can see the plane take off and the clouds!

Margaret: But I want a snack from the aisle!

Me: You still get snacks in window seats too.

Margaret: Oh, then I want the window seat.

James: What?! No fair!

Me: We’ll sort it out – are you excited to meet some new babies and see everyone?

Margaret: What new babies?

Me: Some of your cousins have new babies we can meet!

Margaret: Can i carry them around?

Me: They’re awfully little – maybe if you ask you can hold one on the couch?

Margaret: Will my new sister be there?

Me: Excuse me?

Margaret: Our new baby girl for our family.

James: No!!

Me: Whoa, you tell her, James.

James: It’s going to be a boy.

Margaret: No, girl. Her name will be Amelia.

James: No. John.

Margaret: What? No – that’s a boy name! We’re having a girl baby next! There are too many boys in here!

James: No!

Margaret: Mooommmmmm! Tell him yes!

Me: I’m speechless.

James: No, it’s Rosalina.

Margaret: No! It’s – wait, what?

James: Rosalina.

Margaret: Okay! Rosalina! Or how about Princess Peach?

James: Yeah!

Adam: How about Princess Farts?

James (guffaws loudly): Mom, did you hear that?

Me: Oh, I did.

James: Adam said–

Me: No, I heard. So we’re going to the aquarium, and to Niagara Falls and to a big party and staying in a hotel with a pool – it’s going to be a lot of fun.

Margaret: I can’t wait to hold Amelia!

James: Buffalo, here we come!!!!!

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Watch out, Buffalo. Here. We. Come.