The Foorce

Sometimes parenting responsibly is, to quote James, so darn hard. But seriously, try reading this conversation out loud and tell me you didn’t snicker a little.

(at dinner)

James: So I’m really full.

Me: Well you can sit with us and play a few more cards.

James (sighs dramatically): Mooo-ooommm. I’m. Too. Full.

Me: To sit?

James: Yes.

Me: What are you going to do?

James: What can I do?

Me: Read a book? Play more Kidtalk with us? Draw?

James: Or….

Me: Nope.

James: Come on!!

Me: You lost ipod today.

James: What?!

Me: As you well know.

James: What about tomorrow?

Me; You can have it back then.

James: ……with youtube….?

Me: No.

James: What?!

Me: Why do you keep saying that?

James: I want youtube!

Me: Tough, Dad deleted it off of your ipod.

James: What?!! Why?

Me: Really? It was just this morning.

James (bangs hand on table): This is unfair.

Me: You have to stop watching bad things on youtube. Dad said you searched bad words again and he found you watching something inappropriate.

James: I think I searched for Mario and Luigi in the desert.

Me: Really? Dad took it for that?

James: Um….

Me: James, I know what you searched.

James: What?

Me: Are you really going to make me say it? at dinner?

James: Say what?

Me: You searched for “poopburping.”

James: I think having this conversation is going to upset me.

Me: Why would you search a term like that?

Margaret (gleefully): What did you say?!

James: Not at dinner mom.

Me: What?

James: This is inappropriate at dinner.

Me: It’s inappropriate anytime. You can’t use youtube for a while.

James: It wasn’t poopburping. I looked up “Mario burps” and poopburping just came on.

Margaret: Mom is laughing!

Me: No. I am not. This is very serious, and gross.

Adam: You are laughing.

Me: I’m not!

James (grumpily): I think she’s crying.