The Foorce

Today James landed himself in some “hot water,” so to speak, after throwing a massive tantrum about showering. Again. When I say tantrum think just like a toddler. Except with a toddler I can pick them up and dump them into the bathtub (and do), whereas with James I just have to pray that tugging on his arm while threatening with strikes and losing privileges will still do the trick.

In general it was a bit of an off day for him – the bus came earlier this morning and then took a lot longer than usual on the way home, the homework was a little more challenging that it had been so far this year, and there may have also been some extra after-school hunger involved. So by the time I uttered the word “shower” I already knew where all of the muttering, groaning and talking back would climax.

Long story short, by the end of a very challenging afternoon James had lost his beloved ipod time, which is basically all he works for from the moment he walks in the door. I hated to take it away but hate dragging a 100 lb. preteen into the shower even more. Of course, once James is clean and refreshed he emerges from the shower in a beautiful mood, expecting that all is forgotten and that the last couple of hours can be erased with enough polite comments and smiles. I assured him equally politely that the ipod was definitely gone, but apparently that only convinced him he had to try another tactic:

James is in italics, I’m in bold.

(In the shower)

Wow, this is a big washcloth.

Yep.

Is it a special heavy duty kind?

Nope, just a regular one.

(Getting out of the shower)

Brrrr, it’s pretty cold.

Go put some PJs on.

Like a t-shirt and underwear?

And pants.

So if I put on sweatpants with my t-shirt I’ll be good?

You need pants on with your shirt.

And that’ll be good?

Yes.

(Calling downstairs, already in PJs)

So I’m good now?

Yes, thanks for getting dressed so quickly.

So, I can do whatever I want?

Like?

(softly) Ipod or Wii?

No.

Can I come down and just say sorry?

Sure.

I’m really sorry for my behavior.

Thanks – but you’re not getting your ipod back.

I’m really just really sorry….

Mom, I’m sorry….

May I have my ipod please?

No, James. Stop asking.

(smack self on forehead)

Stop being dramatic, please.

(smacks self on leg)

(starts to cry)

(10 minutes later, playing with A’s Magna Doodle)

So I’m really sorry.

That’s nice.

(30 minutes later)

Hey I’m going to bathe the babies, please answer the doorbell if it rings this time, okay?

(doesn’t look up from reading a costume magazine) Oh, will I earn something if I answer the door?

No, you’ll just be doing me a favor.

(Before dinner)

James, Adam threw his new car over the fence, I need you to go next door and meet me by the bushes so we can find it.

(James retrieves car)

Great job, James – thanks!

I wasn’t even scared – so did I earn –

No.

(during a fabulous meal of chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese, talking quietly to self)

Blaster tanks.

What?

That’s a fun game, right?

(being tucked into bed)

Hey James, if you’re a really good sleeper tonight…

I’ll earn something?

Yep.

(pumps fist in air) Yesssssss!

(calls from room) Moooommmmm?

(peek head in) What is it?

Will I earn a thing like ipod?

Yes. Now good night. Please.

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James was asleep in record time this evening.