The Foorce

I usually save my resolutions for Lent so that I have a better chance of keeping them – after all, 40 days is a heck of a lot easier than 365. But I thought that maybe if I posted my very specific, mostly realistic resolutions to the general public this year, I could be reminded, kidded, cajoled, convinced and/or shamed into keeping them until at least some become new habits.

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This year, I firmly resolve to:

1. Stop exaggerating numbers, most specifically using the words “a million” or “a bajillion” in place of actual amounts of anything (I’ve told you a million times, You’ve forgotten to do that the last bazillion times). This one is mainly for my husband because it drives him crazy.

2. Stop cursing, especially the word “damnit,” but also including “crap,” “stupid,” and “Oh my God.” Find some new words or phrases to replace said curse words that don’t embarrass me out of using them (I will not stick with this resolution by saying “golly gee,” sorry).

3. Enforce internet free hours during the day: 10-11am and 5-7pm are officially going to be internet free. For me. Which in turn will be for the kids. Feel free to embarrass me if I post during these hours!

4. Say I love you to each of my children at least 3 times per day. I say I love you to James pretty darn often (and my husband), but sometimes forget the younger two. It helps that James says “I love you” at least 15 times per day, no exaggeration as per resolution #1. But I want them all to grow up hearing that daily.

5. Compliment and/or thank my husband at least one specific time per day. This one should be easy enough to do, but in reality is equally easy to forget to do. Since I know it still feels good to be thanked for making dinner, cleaning up the kitchen or any number of other menial tasks, why not tell Ryan just how much I appreciate him taking out the garbage or wrestling with the kids while I clean up?

6. Check all of my voicemails, even if they are from unknown numbers. Sometimes I look at my phone and it says “_ new voicemails.” As long as I know where my kids and husband are, this message often results in me cringing and pressing the “dismiss” button. I don’t know why – maybe it’s the red flashing light. But more likely it’s the fact that my 7 and 8 keys don’t work anymore (thank you Adam), so unless I click dismiss I have to save every message. Excuses, excuses, I know – this one might be a little tricky for me.

7. Stop threatening bad behavior with spankings (especially since I don’t spank my kids). Enforce time outs calmly, consistently and quickly, even if the kids are screaming and everyone thinks I’m spanking them anyway.

8. Fix my “No button” and not feel guilty about using it. It works with the kids but seems to short out every time someone asks me for a favor (maybe another reason I dismiss my voicemails?).

9. Stop using the following phrases, even kiddingly: “I’m going to jump out the window if __,” “I’m going to throw you out the window if ___,” “I’m going to punch you in the nose ___,” “I’d rather die than ____.” Just typing them out is strengthening my resolve. More generally, I resolve to stop using dramatic statements as “threats.”

10. Lose 7 pounds – come on, you thought they were all going to be witty or unusual?

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I’d love to hear about some of your resolutions this year – feel free to leave some in the comments section. In the meantime, Happy 2012!