The Foorce

Whew, it’s hard to find a minute to write out the Monday Minute today! What follows is a very typical exchange regarding day to day tasks – brushing teeth has been featured at random.

My responses are in bold.

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Setting: At the dining room table while James eats his breakfast.

Mom, you’re the greatest. Thanks James. Now what do you say to me? What? What should you say to me? You’re the greatest? No, how about I’m the nicest? I’m the coolest boy. Okay.

I want to tell you what Margaret did when we were playing Sleeping Queens in Dad’s room on the rug (it’s my room, too). She reached behind my back like this and slapped me on the back. Did she get in trouble? She tried to apologize but she couldn’t. 

(Margaret enters the dining room, just waking up)

Good morning, Margaret. what do you want for breakfast? Margaret: eggs and toast. Mom, she wants eggs and toast. (Margaret starts singing The Little Mermaid, holding up her Ariel doll to James) Do that to Adam. 

James your eggs are making a smiley face with the toast. I’m drinking my coffee from the egg hat. Mom, Adam is touching the computer. He has an egg hat. I ate his mouth. (James carefully eats his hardboiled egg by peeling the egg white off one piece at a time) How are you doing? We have to brush teeth soon. Good. Goodgoodgoodgood. Watch this (drops piece of egg into mouth with head tipped back). Egg drop mmy drop. What? Egg drop jmmy drop. Egg drop what drop? Egg drop gummy drop. Gummy drop? Egg drop yummy drop, see? James are you done, we have to brush teeth and get going. 

I need to tell you one funny thing before we do. Remember bowling? (3 weeks ago) You know, bowling? When the machine moved the pins? Remember when the machine moved the pins? Yes, please get up and go to the bathroom. When the spotlight came on we bowled in the dark. James get up. After it got dark we played a little more and everyone’s shoes turned glowy. Glowy. glowyglowyglowy. Let’s brush teeth.

Hey mom. Yeah? Hey mom remember bowling? Let’s brush teeth. Dad, nice haircut. Can I see? James go get your toothbrush. Okay I just need one thing (leans his face 1 inch from mine). What? a kiss. okay, now please, go get your toothbrush. (walks through living room reenacting bowling with sound effects). James, bathroom. now. Okay mom (walks over to couch, sits down and opens up Spongebob comic book). James!

Okay mom (walks to bathroom paging through comic book). Look at these ninja donuts! I would but I’m getting ready to brush your teeth. Can I have couch time? We’ll see, open up please. (I am brushing James’s teeth, finally) Mom can I have couch time? You just spit toothpaste into my eye James! Stop talking. 

Silence (5 seconds or so).

Mom, please? Couch time? Stop. talking. right. now. Spit. Can I? James stop talking now or you will stand in the hall until it’s time to go. 

(rinses out mouth) Was I good this morning? Do I get couch time?

Two minutes. Yeah! Yes!!! (punches fist in air) couch time!

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I hope everyone gets a little couch time today, or at least something worth pumping your fist in the air.

Happy Monday!