The Foorce

Today marks the passing of my favorite weekend of the year, the one where we get a whole extra hour for nothing. Unfortunately, the extra hour this weekend allowed my husband to be at work a little longer and the kids to be up a little earlier, and the resulting hangover is still lingering this morning.

As usual, my responses to James in the following conversation are in bold.

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Scene – sitting at dining room table putting James’s homework folder together while James inhales his breakfast

James, chew with your mouth shut. Excuse me. Chew with your mouth shut. But I said excuse me. (continues to frantically eat egg with his hand, pieces falling from his mouth back onto the plate) Saying excuse me doesn’t count for bad table manners. Slow down and take Charlie Bucket bites. Eat slowly or I will take your egg away for five minutes. Gaaaaaahhhhhhh. Chewing slow is a bummer! What? Chewing is a bummer. 

Are you excited for music tonight? Who, me? Yes, are you excited for Daniel’s music this evening? Yeah, uh-huh. (continues to eat with mouth gaping open) James. Slow. down. eating. Now. Who’s taking me to school? Dad. Again? what are you doing? I’m picking you up later. oh, okay. So, homework? What? Homework and stuff? What are you talking about? (No answer, unless James has learned to smack his lips in Morse code)

James your mouth is still open. James. James – look at my eyes! (nothing) James. What? Your mouth is wide open – there is food falling out onto your plate. And the table. So, mom, what do you think of my art? What art? My square 1 art in my homework folder. Oh, it’s very nice. Please stop sucking on your fingers. what does it look like? Gross.  what does my art look like? a car (it is obviously a car made of ripped up paper).

So the rocket goes up into orbit. what rocket? that one (pointing to his square 1 art). That’s a rocket? 5-4-3-2-1 blast off into the night sky! But the sky is blue (and the rocket has wheels). But next time I’m going to change the sky to black. (imitating rocket noises) 5-4-3-2-1 blast off into the night skyyyyyy! blast off to schooooollllll! James, let’s go brush teeth and get ready. ffsssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh. James get up and go to the bathroom. okay, mom. fffffsssssssshhhhhh. James, blast off to the bathroom so you don’t get in trouble. 3……..2…….    okay mom!

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Blasting off into another busy week – hope yours is off to a great start!