Home > Monday Minute > Monday Minute: Spooky Halloween Edition

Monday Minute: Spooky Halloween Edition

Thanks, James, for contributing to an extra special scary edition of the Monday Minute. Thanks, karma, for making us all oversleep (never happens) and adding to the horror of an already spooky morning (I usually roll out of bed by 5:45 to get everyone ready, today it was 7:45). Here’s a small sliver of what this morning was like in the rush to get out the door. Trick or treat?

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(My responses are in bold below)

Cornbread. (James is calling from the dining room to me in the kitchen) You want cornbread in your lunch? Yes. Can you ask more politely? Cornbread, please (said in a huff). Try again. I would like cornbread please (in a smaller huff).

(To my 2 yr old, also eating breakfast in the dining room) You’re  in my seat. Hey that’s my seat. Get out of my seat right now. I hope you’re kidding, James. I’m not kidding. (walking out to the dining room) You’re kidding? No, I’m not kidding! Mom, I’m not kidding! I’m not kidding!!! (becoming apparent he has no idea what I mean) James, just eat your breakfast. We’re really late and you have to go. Mom, don’t tell my teacher on me! what are you talking about? Don’t tell! James, just eat your toast!

Okay, how did you like the ending of your book – you have to say for your reading log. It was a good way to start an ending. What? A good way to start an ending. A good ending. Why? George was nice to his mean grumpy grandma and then she grew tall and then she got very small and disappeared. Good ending. It says how are you like George? What do you both have (meaning grandmas)? We both have ears. And grandmas? Yep. Are your grandmas the same? Yep. Really? No George’s grandma is mean and tall and my grandma is nice.

I’m so lucky to be on 103rd. I like living here. It’s a special day today. Oh, yeah? Halloween! Can I have couch time? No, there is no time for that today – go into the bathroom so I can brush your teeth. Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh! Stop it and go – you sound like a scary monster. (instant change in demeanor, which may or may not have been for the best)

Ha! I’m a scaaarrrryy monster. You sound like a zombie. I’m a zombie! (said in a “zombie voice”)

(from here on James says everything in a slow, monotone, zombie voice)

Go to the bathroom so I can brush your teeth. Okayyyyyy, moooommmmmmm. Come on, stop talking like that and hurry up – you’re going to be late! Okayyyyyyyy, moooommmmmmm.

I am a zombieeeeeee. James, do NOT do that with toothpaste in your mouth – you’re getting it all over me. Okayyyyy. Stop talking while I’m brushing your teeth!! 

Whyyyyy are yooooouuuu spraying meeeee? Because you don’t have time for a shower and I don’t want you to smell bad at school. (scared yet?) Smelllllllll meeeeeeeee. Smelllllllllllll. The sprayyyyyyy smeeeelllllllls. It’s dad’s cologne and it smells good. Smelllllllll. James, stop!

Go get your shoes and socks on right away. You have to go. Okkkkaaayyyy, mooommmmm. James go right now. Shoooooeeesss and sooocckkkksss (standing in the middle of the living room, circling slowly, “looking” for socks) James get your socks on this minute. If you are late there will be no trick or treating! Shhoooooeeess and sooooocks.

Fast forward through Ryan intervening so that James did in fact stop the zombie voice.

(standing in the doorway) Okay I’m going to the lobby. Zip up your jacket. Love you, mom. Love you James. Please, be a good boy on your walk with dad. See you after school, Mooooommmmm. James, please.

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Because we were home and not walking to school as we usually are during the Monday Minute, this conversation was also peppered with Margaret chanting “I want sausage” “Can I have some spray too?” and “I want to go with Dad and James to school” increasingly loudly, Adam screaming for food, screaming to be let out of his highchair, and Ryan scolding James for talking back, not moving quickly enough, or talking like a zombie.

Surely we had the spookiest house on the block this Halloween morning!

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