The Foorce

As I write this it is officially James’s 11th birthday, just a few minutes in. As per tradition we will take him out to dinner tonight and have an understated birthday party for him and a few friends this weekend. I’ll bake a cake for home but there will be no birthday song and all presents have been pre-opened to check for bubble wrap (after one incident this week I’m not taking any chances).

11 years – I just can’t believe it. More than a third of  my life has been wrapped around this special, unusual, lovable, different, friendly, challenging, wonderful little boy. So, in honor of James’s birthday and in doing things differently, my Top Ten this evening (morning) will be devoted to the Top Ten Ways James Has Changed My Life Over the Last Decade.

Since James was born:

1. I am told “I love you” no less than 50 times every day (this is not an exaggeration).

2. I became the absolute center of someone’s universe. It is both humbling and intimidating.

3. I have learned that there are more important things than my career, and have finally found peace with putting it second (a very distant second).

4. I have learned what patience really is, and strive (beg) for more of it every day.

5. I feel sincerely excited about incredibly small victories – going down a grocery store aisle alone, participating in a fire drill, pouring a bowl of cereal, or putting a toe in the ocean are all reason for major celebration.

6. I’ve learned more shorthand than most teenagers text in a month: PT, OT, ABA, SID, ASD, PDD-NOS, ADD/ADHD, LD, MRDD, NT, LVH (can you figure them all out?)

7. I am more risk averse because I am needed.

8. I’ve developed an aversion to balloons popping and fire alarms.

9. I have reevaluated and redefined my definition of “successful.”

10. I have learned that there are few more painful things in the world than watching your child suffer and struggle, and not being able to fix it with a kiss (or at all).

11 (in honor of the 11th birthday). I have been more joy-filled, devastated, overwhelmed, frustrated, excited, terrified, worried and proud than I ever dreamed possible.

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear James, Happy Birthday to you!