The Foorce

I think it’s important sometimes to stop and count your blessings, no matter what the current situation. To put it as mildly as possible, the last 48 hours have been a whirlwind of cleaning up after sick kids and sleeping very little, and though I have a long list of complaints and funny anecdotes to help me deal with the stress of  the last 2 days I thought it would be equally therapeutic and maybe more pleasant to read about some things in my life that I am grateful for.

I am grateful for a very supportive mother – I can call my mom anytime and complain about absolutely anything without feeling foolish or ungrateful. I can also call her about a very small triumph, like getting all of the kids’ doctors’ appointments scheduled into one day and she will act like I am terribly successful. If I am in a bind she always drops everything to come out and help me with the kids. She is one of the only people that I trust to take James overnight, phobias and medications ad weird noises and accidents and all, and know that she has a softer spot for him than even I do. Every time we have a medical concern for any of the kids, she is the first person we call, for her expertise as an R.N. as well as a mother of 5. As I grow older I am starting to realize just how rare and valuable this kind of relationship is.

I am grateful for my little sister. Not only is she a fantastic babysitter, but she makes me feel like I am doing an amazing job parenting even after watching me yell at James for making weird noises. Again. After she cleans my house, plays with my kids and keeps me company, she always sends me a text on her way out of town saying “thanks for letting me come visit. I had so much fun.” And she knows I still appreciate her even when I don’t have time to send a text back.

I am grateful to be a stay-at-home mom. Seriously. Having worked full time for most of my adult life it was a little boring and definitely not as outwardly rewarding to stay home all day with the kids at first. But now I cherish my role in my family and many days I think I do a pretty great job at (micro-)managing my kids, home, and all of the errands, chores and appointments that come with it. I have come to think of my job as important and contributing to society.

I am grateful for days that James gets complimented on his good manners. The other day a taxi driver told me that James was the most well-mannered boy she had ever met, and that no children his age ever said “Hello,” “how are you?” or “thank you, have a nice day” to her. I like that he got a compliment from someone other than me and also that he set a good example for his little sister, who still looks up to him like he is no different than any other big brother.

I am grateful for the nights that I get dinner cleaned up and the kids to bed with time to spare before I go to sleep. That little bit of peace and quiet is so satisfying, especially when I am able to share it with my husband.

I am grateful for online shopping! Come on, where else but in NYC can you buy groceries, laundry service, diapers, prescriptions, toilet paper or garbage bags online and have them delivered the same day?? For free?

I am grateful not to drive a car. I feel like I am much healthier for it and am teaching my children healthy habits in our every day routines.

I am grateful for my fruit man on 97th and Broadway. He is always pleasant and takes time to pick out fruit that is fresh for me, even if he has to go through 10 boxes of blueberries first. And, he is quick to smile at my children and slip them an extra apple.

I am grateful for my children. Watching them play together and interact with each other reminds me that our family is more like other families than we think, and that we have it better than a lot of other families. And, I am never, ever bored.

I am grateful for caring teachers and adults at James’ school. Especially this year his teachers, para and the principal have made it possible for James to be successful in a CTT class and I appreciate their time and effort more than they will ever know.

I am grateful for my friends. My friends are warm to James and turn a blind eye to his eccentricities. They talk to him like he is a human being and like Star Wars and taxis are great conversation topics. For 20 minutes. Then they still want to hang out again.

I am grateful for my husband who often works incredibly long hours to allow me to work on and enjoy all of the above. I am grateful to him for being an amazing family man and for still wanting to rush home every night. I am grateful that he thinks chasing a naked toddler through the house is something to look forward to. I am grateful that he still looks at me like a woman and not “just” a mom who spends too much time cleaning up after sick kids and not enough time doing basic things like brushing my hair. I am grateful that he still says “I love you” at the end of every phone conversation and “thank you” to me for simple things. Even though having a special needs child is more difficult than anything I have ever imagined, having a special needs stepchild takes the cake.

There is still so much more to be thankful for than I have listed, and knowing that makes me happy tonight as I go to bed instead of worrying about which kid is going to wake me up next. Try it and see if you don’t feel better, kind of like smiling when you don’t feel like it. What are you grateful for these days?