Archive
Monday Minute: Another Instance of James Traumatizing NYC Subway Riders
Honestly, whenever I write a Monday Minute that involves the subway I think to myself, well, it likely won’t get any crazier than this, which is usually about the time I’m proven 100% wrong. But I really think that this time, it can’t get any crazier than this.
For full effect, I’ll skip an intro on this one except to suggest that you pretend you’re sitting next to James on the crowded subway, who is returning home from another fantastic DMF concert. It’s around 6:30PM. Past dinner, past medication time, past reason. Read more…
Monday Minute: Another West Virginia Joke, Kind Of – How Stereotypes Get Started
(walking home from the park)
Me: So, Brig might take you to music tomorrow.
Margaret: We haven’t seen Brig in a long time!
Me: She’ll come back for dinner so you can see her too. Are you excited James?
James: You know, there are no lights in West Virginia. Read more…
Monday Minute: It’s Screen-Free Week – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I’d love to tell you that I didn’t post the Monday Minute in time because I was observing Screen-Free week, but that would be a lie. A whopper in fact, since I gorged on the internet last night – updating my Subscribe and Save orders on Amazon, ordering groceries on Fresh Direct, looking up the allowable amount of tylenol for 3 of my 4 children, researching the best natural methods to remove vomit from a down comforter (dousing it in bleach and setting it on fire is apparently not recommended). But I didn’t stop there – to wash it all down I played some Scramble, Letterpress and Words With Friends on James’s ipod, the internet equivalent of a gallon carton of Rocky Road.
My initial reaction to the whole “turn off screens, turn on life” extravaganza was supportive and interested, followed by deep reflection ten minutes later such as do they mean all screens? I have to order groceries later, and then If I have to entertain these sick kids every evening this week without their nightly movie time I’m not going to make it.
So while it’s easy for me to pass James off as the screen-addict in our household, the truth is that he’s not alone. And look, could I spend even more quality time with my kids and perhaps enjoy life more without a screen? Sure. But come on, after a full day out exploring the city followed by an afternoon spent doing homework and crafts at the table, making chocolate covered raisins and pretzels in the kitchen, and showering 3 of 4 children (now covered in chocolate), you know what I want to do after playing a rousing game of “Kid Talk” at the dinner table? Bury myself in a President’s Picks newsletter while my kids watch the rest of Charlotte’s Web. Besides, we’re learning about mammals, and there are mammals in Charlotte’s Web, so it’s totally educational.
Despite my reluctance to give up the screens, I decided to broach the topic with my kids at dinner. Read more…
Monday Minute: What “Everyone Poops” Didn’t Tell You – Poop or Die
We are definitely one of the reasons tourists say they’ve seen and heard it all on the NYC subway. Read more…
Monday Minute: Matters of the Heart (Attack)
After eating leftover enchiladas for breakfast, James rushed upstairs so I could brush his teeth before the bus arrived. Apparently the stairs were a bit of a workout…
Me: Jaaammmeesss! Come up to brush before you’re late!
James (hurrying in, out of breath): Mom, my heart is beating too fast. Read more…
Monday Minute: Butts, Tocks and Other Private Parts
With 4 kids, “Mooooommmmmm, I pooped!” is one of the most common (and least enjoyable) phrases thrown around the house each day. James in particular, who still needs help with multiple self-care skills, likes to have full conversations while I’m helping him out in the bathroom in one way or another. Truly, one of the highlights of my day.
But once in a while, wiping butts can actually be funny. Like today… Read more…
Monday Minute: James Takes On The Dang Balloon Man
Perhaps you remember my memoir on Central Park and its amazing assortment of balloon vendors from last year, aka The Day James Ran Around Screaming For 4 Hours. Well yesterday, the kids and I went to meet the very same friend in the very same place, almost 2 years later. Though we’ve been to the Central Park zoo dozens of times since then, it has often been sans-James because we usually go while he’s in school.
From the moment I mentioned that we were going to the zoo the following morning he began campaigning hard for a different one – Brooklyn, Bronx, the Coney Island aquarium. “The Central Park zoo has the most balloons,” he was able to clearly explain when I asked why he was so worked up. “I think there might be less balloons in the Spring than in Summer,” I replied carefully. “Besides, we’re not buying any balloons and the zoo doesn’t allow balloons inside because the animals could choke on them.” With that information in hand James perked up a bit and we were able to get to the zoo the next morning with fairly little issue.
The day was sunny and beautiful, just warm enough not to need jackets. We exited the subway and followed the windy path toward the zoo entrance littered with vendors – the Nuts for Nuts cart, a hot dog and soft pretzel man, and the obligatory half a dozen stands with peddlers trying to convince me that they could sketch all four of my children before they got restless. James cheerfully announced, “No balloons! You were right, mom!” I was feeling rather exuberant about how smoothly the day was going until I finally spotted him. The lone balloon animal man, stationed right at the southern entrance to the zoo, offering “free” balloons animals to passing children for a token donation.
I hoped that by enthusiastically noticing each and every vendor on our left, James would be able to ignore THE ONE to our right, but no. That’s not the way this works. Behind me I heard James mutter, “that dang balloon man.” And before I knew what was happening: Read more…
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