Home > Monday Minute > Monday Minute: Are You My Cousin? James Rewrites the Dr. Seuss Classic

Monday Minute: Are You My Cousin? James Rewrites the Dr. Seuss Classic

Apparently I need to brush up on family relations…

(James is sitting in the kitchen while I make him breakfast, Ian in his bouncy chair nearby)

James: Hi, Ian. Hi, little Ian! So, is Ian my cousin?

Me: What?

James: Ian’s my cousin?

Me: Are you serious?

James: He’s my brother, right?

Me: Yes.

James: Is he yours?

Me: My what?

James: Your cousin?

Me: No James, he’s my son, like you are. Your cousins are the children of your aunts and uncles.

James: Oh….

Me: So who are your uncles?

James: Sean, Ed, Pat…

Me: Right, and do any of them have kids?

James: No.

Me: Are you sure? Does Ed have a baby?

James: Nah.

Me: He does. Remember Madelyn?

James: Oh yeah!

(2 minutes later)

James: So Ed is my cousin?

Me: No, James. Madelyn is your cousin and Ed is your uncle.

James: Connor is my cousin too, right? That cool little guy.

Me: I’m surprised you remember him! Well, he’s my cousin’s son.

James: And my cousin?

Me: Well, kind of. Maybe your 2nd or 3rd cousin or once-removed or something.

James: No, he’s my 2nd cousin. And Madelyn is my first cousin, remember.

Me: Weirdly enough, you’re kind of right.

James: Who else?

Me: Well, I have a lot of cousins and they are somehow related to you, but only distantly. Madelyn is the only baby of your aunts and uncles so you have 1 cousin right now.

James: So how many cousins do you have?

Me: Well, a lot – maybe 30. And how many do you have?

James: Around 10.

Right?

….Right?

Me: Ugh, maybe.

James: So how many brothers do I have?

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